What do you get when you combine infused-vodka, gallons of sunscreen, the dry heat of Palm Springs, running drunkenly through sprinklers, and some aggressively hilarious Cornhole games??!!

Y’all, I’d like to welcome you to my Stagecoach 2017 Weekend! ☀




Yes, friends, that would be the Hubs in our new car with an LED Car Party Light hooked up to the sunroof, Red Bulls ready to be slugged down, and some Jersey Shore-worth dance music blaring from the speakers at 8:00 pm. And I LOVED it!!!

He always keeps me on my toes, that one 😉 #marriedlife

As we made our way down the 91 and all other accompanying freeways and roads, we had about twenty people roll up next to us, dance along, cheer and laugh with us, honk ’cause they were heading down to Stagecoach, too, or obvi Snapchat us as they put-putted along.

I can honestly say that I rocked out for 2 solid hours, managing only one cramp in my fist-pumping right elbow.

We were greeted at the end of a long driveway by my three ladies dancing in the headlights. Walking in, I was instantly floored: white walls, a gorgeous mosaic-encrusted fireplace, bright furniture with Aztec-inspired pillows, a huge wooden dining room table with modern and sleek white chairs adorned around it, a gorgeous, marbled kitchen, and an open-air floorplan. Oh, and a huge fridge, which an Italian like me can appreciate (and of course, it was packed with the workssss, including pesto, ceviche, deli meats, and ground beef for burgers and whatnot…and alll of the alcoholzzz).

Our friends, both old and some new, let the Hubs and I settle into our room and I immediately unzipped my cheetah-print luggage and began to sort my clothes into day clothes, night clothes, pj’s and undies, bathing suits, and a drawer designated for when they all would eventually become dirty.

Yes, I am one of those people who utilize dressers, closets, and drawers wherever I go.

Otherwise, why were they put there to begin with? Plus, with my lovely OCD, it helps me compartmentalize and stay organized.

Above, I’ve got some of my essentials, like my Australian Gold Sunscreen, which is not only great smelling and protective (I reapplied twice under that sweltering sun and didn’t burn at all), but it also gives you a bronze-y, glowing finish. You’ll feel like a Goddess, even for my pale sisters out there! #ifeelyou

And of course, after organizing my clothes for the weekend, I had some fun and put my hats on the fake plant that was in the corner of our pretty room. My Wifey Hat (a similar one can be found here), of course, being my favorite, sat right in the middle!

After a vigorous and crazy round of “Waterfalls” with the group (King’s Cup without the gross-ass cup), we all parted ways for the night and stumbled into our bedrooms, falling asleep quickly and waking ready to rage yet again the next morning! 😉



Sometimes, you can catch a wild Lo Valenza in her natural habitat: half-submerged in a pool, half-drunk, and incredibly happy.

After devouring a home-cooked breakfast of fried eggs, bacon, and assorted toast and bagels (which I skipped, sadly, because yes, “I’m also that girl that doesn’t like to cheat on her diet during vacation,” Lo said soberly Night One–just wait till Night Two…), we made huge batches of mimosas and poured them into our Mason Jar Pool Cups (similar ones can be found here) and we hit the pool.

The day was spent sipping, tanning, goofing off, making refills, more tanning and laughing, some Kan Jam, and more booze until it was time for our friends to go back to the house and get ready to leave for the venue.

And when the last car door to their Uber shut, the Hubs and I were left to enjoy the house to ourselves. We lounged about, we watched a few movies we had been dying to see on our Amazon Firestick, we mosied around the golf course, and we ordered Chinese food through Postmates because it was pretty close and I had a hankering for some Orange Chicken. We killed the order within an hour and decided to play some Beer Pong, of which I lost. Like usual. And I played sports in high school, too…#sheesh

When they got back, they were dusty, tired, and ready to hit the hay (Country-pun!), my friend’s Hubs wandered into my bathroom and yelled out, “If anyone forgot anything, it looks like Lauren took half of Target with her!” And let me show you why:

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These are my absolute favessss when it comes to everyday use or for traveling! I’ll leave you a handy little list in case you’d like to try a few for yourself:

Yes To Tomatoes Charcoal Scrub, Yes To Cucumbers Soothing Cleanser, Crest Whitening Toothpaste + Booster, Jergens Natural Glow In-Shower Color, Jergens Natural Glow Lotion, Aussie Hairspray, Neutrogena Tanning Spray, and L’Oreal RevitaLift Moisturizer

Enjoy those goodies if you’d like, loves! Let me know if you try anything or if I should try any of your faves out! 🙂


Well, almost 😉

You know when you’ve been drinking and you decide to go back to the house to snag the pool noodles you found drunkenly the night before, only to forget briefly where they were, remember suddenly, find a round floaty whilst grabbing the noodles, and decide to blow it up until you feel like you’re about to pass out?

What? Just me? Okay, okay.



Needless to say, Day Three was yet again another blast by the pool, slinging back some drinks, listening to Country music, shooting the breeze, and some crazy rounds of CornHole!

The boys grilled up some burgers and hot dogs and we had a bombbbbb lunch before the group had to get ready to head on down to the venue once more.

Deciding to drive over there this time, Matteo and I were buzzing in the most pleasant way as we waved good-bye to them and enjoyed another evening at home. We hopped back in the pool, we jacuzzied, we drank and laughed and just…ah, I don’t know how to describe it, but I love little moments like those to check out my husband, to laugh with him or to talk about the future…to dream of living in Palm Springs and what our house would look like and all that fun jazz. It was another great evening at home.

And yes, we mayyyyy have Postmates‘d a little Taco Bell while everyone was away. Night One Lo is now judging Night Three Lo.



Waking up the morning of Day Four was bittersweet: I did not want to leave at allll but I knew when I got home, there would be a little white furbaby wagging his tail and waiting to give me kisses!

The Hubs and I hit the road at about 9:15 am and he was determined to show me a place called, “1,000 Palms Oasis”. If I had not known that it was an outdoor walking tour of thousand-year-old palm trees, I would have dared to dream that he was taking me to a spa of some sort with some champagne and hot stones waiting for me…….#trippin’

Regardless, I was stokedddd to check out the Oasis because I am a.) a dork and b.) absolutely fascinated by nature. Seriously, I can geek out over photosynthesis and evolution and rocks any day. Don’t judge.

We explored in the cool shade of the palm fronds for about 45 minutes or so–but if you have the time to hike, and the proper attire and a shit-ton of water, I say you hike some of their mapped trails. You can see tons of wildlife along the way, but mostly, you’ll be taken aback by how open everything is–super spacious and super gorg.


 / / this image was snagged from: http://www.aquasoleilhotel.com \ \


From there, we hit the 10 and moseyed on over to Ruby’s Diner where we enjoyed another little cheat of burgers and fries. It was pretty cute in there, with vintage signs adorning the walls, and they even had a little toy train that would circle an area of the seating arrangements. Pretty dorky. Pretty Lo.


Sorry, sorry…I got a little carried away there, but legit, y’all, the date shakes are amazing (despite what everyone may say about those little guys) and they’re a must-try if you’re in the area!!!


 / / this image was snagged from: latimes.com \ \


Happily sipping on my date-banana shake, we geared up for our last stop before hitting the road for home: the Cabazon Dinosaurs! I’ve always wanted to stop there and the Hubs was game, so we parked and explored the life-like, huge recreations of a Tyrannosaurus Rex and a Brachiosaurus. Matteo had a blast going up inside the Brachiosaurus to peek around, but the temperature was quickly rising and we decided to finish up with some fun photos and head back to the glorious AC in the car!



Driving home, we laughed about the fun we had over the weekend, we rocked out to some Avenged Sevenfold, and we vowed that we would do it all over again with our friends who are more like family♥


Yay, y’all!!! I hope you enjoyed reading my recap as much as I enjoyed recapping it for you!

And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for:

a free deleted scene from XXII!!!!





Thank you, thank you, thank you to my lovely friends for an incredible weekend, the Hubs for being my sweet thang, my dog, Syn, who didn’t chew-up anything while we were gone, all of the people I FaceTime’d intoxicated, and of course, YOU, my readers!

Feel free, as always, to leave any criticism or feedback about this freebie or about XXII in general! I love to talk about it and find new perspectives, so hit me up using any of the social media links below!


For all things XXII and XXIII, click here to sign up and stay in the loop!

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XOXO, lo♥

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